Pondering what exactly is my purpose.  Have you ever asked yourself that question?  What will be your legacy?  What’s your contribution to your offspring or the world?  I found in my day-to-day dealings with people that’s it’s hustle and most have on blinders only focusing on themselves and their own enrichment be it financial, social or physical. I’m a single mother and my focus and purpose is to be the best mother.  To inspire my child to dream bigger than I did and contribute to this world in ways that will reshape its future.  If we only focus on ourselves, we teach others and our offspring to be selfish.  The world is bigger than you and I and it’s imperative that we make a positive contribution to it albeit however little.  Your journey in life will be meaningless and forgotten just like your contribution if you gave or sacrificed nothing.

Are you a Father or a Dad?

Fathers run away, Dad stays.  Fathers are sperm donors while Dads are emotionally, physically and financially invested in the development and growth of the child.

But why?

It becomes easy for men who themselves came from broken, loveless homes to perpetuate the cycle of broken homes.  Some of these men don’t know or have never met their biological fathers.   These men see it fit to abandon their responsibilities as dads because they don’t know what it is to be loved by one.  They saw their mothers struggling to make ends meet as children growing up, yet have no problem leaving their wives or baby mamas to do just the same – a sick cycle of abandonment and neglect.  These fathers want to be “friends” with their children but not dads – friends are fun with no responsibilities then the children return home to the caregiver, breadwinner, nurturer, educators and discipliners who are the mothers.  Mothers become the “not-fun” parent despite being the sole source of the child’s upbringing.  These fathers want the accolades of being a parent without being a “parent.”  Why do fathers leave?  While there are valid reasons for some, most leave because they don’t want to settle thinking the grass is greener on the other side.  They leave because of family encouragement often times from their mothers who herself suffered the same faith.  They leave because the wives/baby mamas have expectations of what a dad’s role should be and the responsibilities a dad should have.  Men lacking the mindset to deal with a dad/parent mentality view this as being bossed or disrespected and leave the family unit.  Father run because of their selfish needs and lack of empathy for anyone but themselves.

For women left to raise the fruits of their wombs alone, know that it’s easier to raise confident children than to fix selfish, broken, incompetent men.

Humanity Lost

As we look around our world today, it’s filled with so much pain, poverty and injustice.  We have an opportunity to make our planet proud, but instead we justify the destruction of lives:  human, animal, aquatic and vegetation in the name of greed (money), power and one commodity (oil).  Countries that have nuclear arsenals and clout including USA, UK and Canada have misused their power which greatly created hardship for less powerful countries.  Any country that has oil reserves becomes targets under the guise of creating a democratic society when in fact, their country will be left torn and marginalized because of the so-called freedom/liberation.

As we look around our world, instead of countries becoming more peaceful and progressive, they are becoming more marginalized and archaic.  Brazil, Venezuela, Guyana, Libya, Syria, Iraq, etc.  What do these countries all have in common?  They were liberated by the so called body of democracy – the ABC nations (America, Canada and UK) with the approval of the UN.   Justifiable, countries like Ethiopia, Congo, Sierra Leone, etc. needs liberation from the atrocities (starvation, malnutrition, child mutilation, poverty, Boko Haram, etc.) that takes place daily, yet nothing is being done to help them.  Their stories hardly make the international news.  Why, because there is nothing to gain financially for saving innocent lives.  The lives of African men, women and children are not worth saving because there is no financial gain…

Here in the USA, the Electoral College has elected Trump, a racist, sexist, bigoted, homophobic, misogynistic, Putin-owning man-child as its next leader.  Our government turns a blind eye to the nepotism, conflict of interests and security threats that are hemorrhaging from Trump’s administration.  America, the giant among nations is gambling on a radical babbling buffoon as its leader of change. Really?

At the bottom of it all, what’s the cost of this and who stand to benefit the most?  These politicians are using human lives as bargaining chips, who will use theirs?  What’s also pathetic are the people that voted for Trump – we are walking, working and living alongside folks with racist, homophobic, sexist mentalities.

I’m beyond disgusted and sad.

2017 – New Year, New Attitude

It’s 2017, a new year to reflect and refocus.  As I grow older and wiser, I’ve become patient and impatient to BS.  I’m more aware but there’s a caveat with awareness as it brings wisdom along with sadness and pain.  Being aware, one sees things the regular minds don’t see – it’s a blessing and a curse.

January is one of my most dreadful months and this one has not disappoint thus far. I’m already off to a fast start defending myself against an egotistical manipulator and his minion, mourning with my very dear friend the loss of her father (sadly, January is also the month I lost my dear father 32 years ago) and dealing with another dear friend moving away starting a new chapter in her journey.  All things to make one want to ball up and retreat. But what don’t kill you only makes you stronger.  Not being one to retreat, I faced my adversities with courage, strength and steadfastness.  Change is our only constant, and for me to move forward and progress, I must be able to adapt to changes.  I have to dig deep and find the strength that has gotten me through the toughest of times and grab hold of it until I can stand tall again.  However, we must not allow ourselves to become victims of the same situation twice; we must use our lessons as teachers to move forward.  Use the disappointments as lessons to become wiser and stronger.  These tests were put there to strengthen me for the year ahead and I will use them to do just that.  2017, here I come – I am fearless, strong and ready.

Best wishes to all for a happy, healthy and progressive 2017.  Find your inner strength to move yourself forward when faced with adversities.  Blessings!

Until that day… Me Say War ~ Bob Marley


Until the philosophy which hold one race superior
And another
Is finally
And permanently
And abandoned –
Everywhere is war –
Me say war.

That until there no longer
First class and second class citizens of any nation
Until the colour of a man’s skin
Is of no more significance than the colour of his eyes –
Me say war.

That until the basic human rights
Are equally guaranteed to all,
Without regard to race –
Dis a war.

That until that day
The dream of lasting peace,
World citizenship
Rule of international morality
Will remain in but a fleeting illusion to be pursued,
But never attained –
Now everywhere is war – war…

Midlife Crisis

To my fellow Gen X – the realization of 40(+) and the very important question that followed, “what the F am I doing with my life???”  In my situation, it’s a case of midlife crisis – I think… Either way, it’s daunting, overwhelming and downright depressing to be at the midpoint of one’s life’s cycle – assuming I live to be 80 of course.  Where did the years south of 40 went???  The last 20 was a blur with school, marriage, child, etc.  So what to do??  Change mates?  Find a new hobby?  Take up painting or pottery?  Start a new career?  Got back to school?

So what to do?

Well, the simplest and most meaningful thing to do is the start looking at life with a different set of lenses.  Forget about what pains you and focus on what made you and will make you happy.  Value the people who love you.  Stop dwelling on the negatives and focus on the positives… Keep moving forward but remember lessons learned.  Forgive but don’t forget.   Don’t hold grudges, it ages you.  Appreciate what you have and not what you don’t have.  Be kind.  Be gentle.  Be loving.  Be appreciative.  Smile.  If you’re of legal age and responsible, have massive amount of sex.  Love yourself.  Be courteous and polite. JUST TRY TO BE HAPPY.  Funnily, the more you try to do these things you will encounter assholes who will mess up your flow but all the more important to push on. Life’s happiness is controlled by our attitude – a simple tweak can bring about a momentous change.

My midlife crisis self is going to be happy if it kills me.  I hope you do too…