Wife Comes Out As Lesbian To Husband Who In Turn Comes Out As Transgender

The Kaufmans came out of the closet together. Although the revelations ended their marriage, they remain best friends

When a California woman nervously confessed to her husband of 20-odd years that she was a lesbian, he surprised her in turn — telling her he was not a gay man but actually a straight woman.


Cathy and Danielle — formerly David — Kaufman came out of the closet together and though the revelations ended their marriage, they are still best friends.

“Inside she’s the same person that I married, and just the outside has changed,” Cathy Kaufman said of her former husband.

Since childhood, David Kaufman secretly knew he wanted to be a woman and would even cross-dress with his mother’s clothes.  Starting at 13, he periodically attempted suicide. But he kept fighting his nagging feelings and got married.

The couple moved from Michigan to California, lived together happily and raised children. “It never occurred to me that it would be anything but forever,” Cathy Kaufman told the station.

Four years ago, while still a man, the former David Kaufman realized he was truly attracted to men and struggled with admitting his true orientation to his wife. But Cathy Kaufman spoke up first.

“I just said, ‘You know, I need to tell you something,” Cathy Kaufman said. “I need to tell you that I’ve been thinking that I would like to date women.”

“And I remember saying, “Oh my god, get out of town! I just figured out I’m gay!” Danielle Kaufman recalled.

But last year, David Kaufman says he realized he is not actually gay — he is truly a woman.kaufman30n-4-web

“I’m really a woman. I am not a gay man. I’m a straight woman.” Danielle Kaufman told Inside Edition. She started transitioning shortly afterward and says she stopped pretending to be someone she was not, as she had for more than 50 years.

“It felt so good to be me,” she said. “It felt so good to be a woman, to be Danielle. This is incredibly cool.”

The Kaufmans are still legally married but live in separate houses.

Danielle Kaufman wrote a book about their marriage’s unconventional end called “Untying the Knot.”

NY Daily News

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